Wo ist die Leidenschaft?

Where is the passion?

Yesterday I witnessed something very unique.  I stepped out of the U-Bahn station in central Vienna to go shopping for a suit to wear to the ball I am attending this Friday, and I heard a sound that is utterly foreign here: hundreds of people shouting in unison.  I quickly turned around and saw a large group of people (probably around 300) gathered in the center of Stephansplatz, the large square in the center of the city right in front of the famous Cathedral.  They were protesting something.  I was too far away to tell if things were safe, but it did not sound so, and it was absolutely freezing outside, so I quickly went to my destination.

On my way back, they were still there, and this time I noticed that police had mostly surrounded the area, but were simply watching.  It appeared safe, and many bystanders were watching, so I approached the scene.  I quickly saw that this was a protest for "Freedom for Libya."  These people were passionately showing support for their people, speaking out against their unbelievably cruel dictator's regime, and trying to convince the Libyan ambassador in Vienna to stop riding the fence and show where his allegiance lies.  Reporters were everywhere, and the people being interviewed were clearly passionate about the issue.  The sense of unity and family was overwhelming.  In fact, rather than feeling in danger, I caught a sense of positivity from the whole proceeding.

So I've been thinking.  These people are fighting for freedom, and protesting the brutal murders that have happened in their country.  I don't know what the exact numbers are, I don't think anyone really does, but I heard one official figure that put it at around 600 deaths and 1400 injured/missing.  Even if these numbers were more than doubled and we assume that 5000 people have died, look at the passion that these people have for such a (relatively) small number.  I don't mean to minimize the Libyan atrocities, but hear me out for a minute:

If we really knew our God, wouldn't we be hundreds of times more passionate?  We have been given the knowledge that has set us free from a regime far more oppressive than that of Gaddafi.  The bondage of sin is such a horrific thing, and the freedom that we find in Christ is literally the fulfillment of our purpose in life.  Not only that, but I am sure that right now all of us know people who have died, are dying, or are on their way to a certain death in which they do not know Christ.  These victims of sin and Satan's control here on earth should be more horrific to us than the bloody pictures I saw on the posters yesterday in Stephansplatz, yet they are not.  Where is our passion?  I'm not exactly suggesting we go parading through the streets shouting out the Gospel, but then again, would that be such a bad thing?  Honestly, it would be better than what many of us are doing now: which is precisely nothing.  But more than that, our lives should be a constant demonstration, a constant protest, against the systems of this world. They should be constant pointers to Christ.  We should be billboards with the slogan: "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

And then I think, those 300 Muslims in Vienna, Austria could have thought, "What can we do?  What kind of difference can we make in a tiny country hundreds of miles away from this home we are trying to support?"  And so many of us think the same way so much of the time.  "What good can I do?  There are not enough Christians in this world and heaven is so far away from most people's minds... how can we make a difference for the Kingdom?"  But that is foolishness.  We are in a war, and each one of us must play his part.  What would happen if the man who drove the supply truck to the soldiers on the front lines thought that way?  Or the squad whose job was to secure one building in a town?  It would all fall apart, which if you ask me is exactly what is happening in much of the church today.  If enough people play their part, then things happen.

If this passion seems totally foreign to you, or if it is something that you once experienced but feel like you have somehow lost, then I challenge you: have you ever really encountered Christ?  The Christ that we see in the Bible changes lives permanently.  The Christ that "has begun a good work in you will carry it on to completion."  Has that good work ever really begun for you?  I thought it had for me - until it really did.  When I truly met Christ, everything changed.  I'm not professing perfection.  I only made it 10 days without a cigarette despite my post that I would never smoke again.  But His forgiveness is there, and He is continuing to work on me.

I'll end with my absolute favorite quote from The Lord of the Rings, which has encouraged me many times in my spiritual walk:

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

"Wir müssen nur entscheiden, was wir mit der Zeit anfangen wollen, die uns gegeben ist."

Mit welchem würdest du fahren?

Which one would you drive with?

Today was my worst day since arriving in Austria.  Honestly, I'd say today was one of the worst days I've had in a very long time.  This whole week I've been feeling very homesick and I haven't been doing a great job of keeping myself busy, so things continued to build up.  Last night, though, I finally got the Skype subscription I've been thinking about that allows me to make unlimited calls to the US for $7/month.  I was up until 4:30 in the morning talking to old friends and having some very meaningful conversations.  Unfortunately this made me realize even more just how much I miss home.  I slept until 3 this afternoon because I was very tired and had nothing to do today, then got up and made lunch, and was feeling so bummed out that I just fell back into an uneasy sleep until 6:30.  I've decided I could never live in Greenland or some crazy place like that during the winter, because when you only see about 30 minutes of sun in a whole day it does something weird inside your head.  I was so exhausted and depressed after all that sleep that I couldn't even get enough energy to pray.  I just sat on the edge of my bed and, embarrassed as I am to admit it, cried.  Here, in the middle of the adventure of a lifetime that many people would give anything to have, with a world-class city at my fingertips and all the time in the world, I was the epitome of self-pity, and it was pathetic.

Funny that this happened today though.  Within the last 24 hours I've received a lot of spiritual pointers dealing with this very topic.  Last night as I spoke with my mentor on Skype, we talked a little bit about this blog and his impressions of it.  His one outstanding piece of advice to me was that, "Self-consciousness can be an obstacle to God-consciousness."  This confused me at first, but after some explanation I began to understand what he meant.  Self-consciousness is a positive thing, only so far as it leads us to realize our brokenness and become naked and transparent before God and rely totally on Him.  However, in times of trial or pain, being overly conscious of ourselves and our problems can lead to self-pity, wallowing, and extreme loneliness.  As our focus shifts from God to ourselves, we foolishly forget that God: 1) is all-powerful and sovereign, and has a right to our lives because we have surrendered them to Him (Romans 12:1), 2) has our best interests in mind (Romans 8:28), and 3) is the cure to any loneliness we could ever have because He is "help to the helpless, strength to the stranger, and a Father to the child that's left alone." ("So Come" - Israel Houghton)

You see, despite God's different plans for each of our lives, we are all called to one thing: "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." (2 Corinthians 3:18)  We are called to be mirrors of God's glory in this world.  Some translations say that we "behold as in a mirror" the glory of the Lord, but actually both are accurate translations of the Greek word katoptrizo.  Both are actually important, because, like Moses, we must first behold God's glory in order to let it change us before reflecting it to the people around us. (This article expands on this concept, and the Bible dictionary entry confirms it, along with the original text)  As I meditated on the concept of a mirror, I realized something interesting.  Mirrors are unique in that the perfection of a mirror can be measured by its lack of individuality.  A mirror with unique defects or even "character" is no good mirror for looking in!  Its sole purpose is to show an accurate image of the beholder.  We are called to be the same way.  We cannot be self-conscious mirrors, making our unique aspects the highlight of the show.  Look again at the two pictures above: which one most represents your life?  Do not think of this in terms of "broken" and "whole," that is not the point.  We are all broken.  However, what stands out about your life to others?  Is it your reflection of Christ, or your own unique character?

It is amazing how this all ties in with the Moses entries from last month.  Remember with me that God first had to bring Moses to a place of brokenness before Moses was ready to ask the big question: "Who are You?"  His life was forever changed by this experience.  However, this breaking process was not done so that Moses could become a self-conscious wretch, wallowing in self-pity or constantly aware of his faults and failures.  It was done so that upon realizing all of these things, he would be ready to make himself fully naked before the Lord, dependent upon His mercy, and transparent so that He could work through his life.  The same can be said of my experience here in Europe, as well as most if not all of the trials in our lives.

So, in closing for today, I am sorry if this blog has been in any way overly self-conscious.  I am sorry to myself, sorry to my readers, and sorry to the Lord.  It was never my intention to focus on myself - the key here is for us all to draw closer to the Lord.  The purest water is see-through, and in the same way I hope that our hearts grow purer together so that our individuality never overshadows the image of God in our lives.

Dein Reich komme, Dein Wille geschehe, wie im Himmel so auf Erden.
Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven.