Christianity is a compilation of glorious contradictions. Life through death, victory through defeat, blessings through persecution, a God that is three in one and one in three who came to Earth as a human being without forfeiting one attribute of His nature. Today, though, I am overwhelmed by one great contradiction.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." 1 Peter 5:6
We are actually commanded by Christ to die to ourselves, to realize that we are nothing apart from Him. We are told by our loving Father to throw in the towel, to give up, throw our hands up in full surrender, ending the war our flesh has waged against His laws. Our sinful nature, our old selves, will be given no quarter. We will be ruined - "gloriously ruined" in the words of the late Mike Yaconelli. There is no room for negotiation with the Almighty One. Sadly, we have lost the fear of God, and humbling ourselves under His mighty hand has become a romantic notion where He throws buckets of daisies, daffodils, butterflies, tulips, and rainbows all around us and then cooks us a big warm pot of chili [or insert your favorite home-cooked meal from mom here]. We have forgotten the words of the author of Hebrews, "It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." (Heb 10:31) These are the same mighty hands under which Peter tells us to willingly humble ourselves. The beauty of our situation is that the dread is gone, and we can now approach Him confidently with the knowledge of His grace (Heb 4:16) thanks to Christ's sacrifice on our behalf; but to forget the hopeless situation we would otherwise be faced with is to trample the blood of Christ underfoot, which is the very thing Hebrews says makes the notion of falling into His hands dreadful (Heb 10:26-31).
Many times have I prayed the words, "Lord, I cannot do this alone. If you don't help me, I know I can never get myself out of this nor can I ever end up where you want me to be." I have been sincere every time, because the words are as true and logical as anything I have ever spoken. The problem is that I have been surrendering in the wrong way. The demand is for us to surrender to Him, actively and continuously, "that he may lift you up in due time." To put a new twist on a classic example, what good is it to pray and give God a signed blank check to your life, only for Him to find out you have withdrawn all your funds by the time He goes to cash it? The will must remain surrendered to Him until He lifts you up, and trust me, He will. This is the meaning of the "living sacrifice" in Romans 12:1. Another well-known example I enjoy is that the difference between a living sacrifice and a dead one is that the living one can crawl off the altar.
This paradox of active surrender, fighting to remain subdued under God's hand, was well understood by Peter. Just two verses after telling us surrender to God's mighty hand, he writes, "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings." (1 Peter 5:8-9)
I can think of only a handful of times in my life when I have been persistently and actively surrendered in spite of feeling totally cut off from God. This week was one of those times. As I wrote in my last post, I made up my mind to refuse to stay down, to refuse to stop seeking Him. I barely knew what I was seeking or how I would find it, but I can encourage you, He wants to be found by us. If you feel discouraged, persevere in surrender. Do not persevere in good works, or attempts to be holy, or to understand God's ways. Persevere in surrender. Fight with all that you have to make sure that in the conflict between your flesh and God's Spirit, you are the one who loses. It is worth it.
And when you least expect it, when all hope seems lost, when the night is darkest, He will drop an unbelievable miracle right into your lap to remind you He is there. It may seem like nothing to the people around you, they may say (at best) that it is a coincidence or maybe just the pepperoni pizza you had last night. But you will know that God has heard your prayer and answered it in a way only He can. Of the handful of times I have forced myself to stay on the altar, He has always answered me in such a way. That's what happened to me this week, and I can't wait to get to share the story someday soon, when the time is right.
Ich steh hier auf weitem Land
Lass mich los in deinen Hand
Ich seh ein Feuer immer heller
Es lockt mich an, steckt mich in Brand
Standing tall in this wide space
Getting lost in Your embrace
I see a fire burning brighter
It’s calling me to catch the flame
Ich lasse mich fallen, tauch ein in deinen Liebersstrom
Es ist nicht nur Fühlen,
Sondern Wissen, du bist da!
I feel like I’m falling
Swimming in Your great streams of love
It’s not just a feeling
It's knowing You are here
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