A Little Homesickness (literally "home-pain" which, I think, is a nicer translation)
Got my first pangs of homesickness two days ago when I saw a tall skinny guy walking down the street in bright red skinny jeans and a crazy scarf. Even in Europe, such fashion stands out, so of course I thought of Jordan. Then Sam, then Shiloh, then New Life, then New Hampshire. Then I hopped on the tram and put it out of my mind.
The next day I got to watch a video tribute to our adopted great-grandmother Sylvia, who passed away this past week after a long struggle with various cancers. So of course I thought of all my family.
Luckily, I am not too homesick. But this homesickness leads into the spiritual topic for me at this point. I am now just beginning to realize how great was the extent of the influence of my Christian family, friends, church, and overall constant involvement. Even during a spiritually dry time, it is not overly difficult to be preoccupied with things of God from time to time. Even when not directly discussing God, hanging out with Christian friends has a beautiful, well significance I guess would be the most appropriate word, because there is always the assurance that Christ is the common denominator and driving force (even if He may be ignored or even disobeyed in our actions from time to time!). Here, however, I am - for now at least - alone in this respect. In an entirely secular society, without even a single like-minded acquaintance, I find myself frustrated throughout the day that the things of God and that unattainable but not impractical goal of "praying without ceasing" are so far from me.
So in this unique situation I have found my first task by God. I knew it was coming, but I do not think I realized how difficult it would be. I must, in the words of Mike Mancino, be separated from all else and separated unto Him. I must be independently dependent on God. I cannot rely on other people or things to provide me with a superficial "Christian walk," because it is then no longer dependence on Him but on something else. As I write this, I realize that all those "something elses" are nothing more than idols. Any other motive for my walk with Him is an idol, whether it be church or even the desire to fulfill my calling. Who can live up to such an ideal view? Hopefully me. Only time will tell at this point.
I can only imagine how Moses felt during his 40 years in the land of Midian. Exiled from his country and people, he went from prince to shepherd and had to find a new life and home among a foreign people. Did he bring the God of his forefathers with him to these people? I have begun reading Exodus to hopefully gain some insight, and have found so far no mention of Moses' religious life prior to his experience at the burning bush at the end of those 40 years. The extent of his involvement with the Hebrews from his place in the palace is unclear other than the fact that he knew his birth family well, was sympathetic to his people, and knew at least something of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (he did at least recognize this God's existence at the burning bush and trembled in fear!). But we cannot forget that this was still prior to the institution of the law, the priesthood, and, well, any form of organized Judaism. So here I can relate to Moses. No organized religion to depend on in his new land, not even the chance of bringing one there because it did not yet exist! So clearly God sent him into the desert for training, not as a missionary.
But how was he trained? Well, he became a family man, learned to be a shepherd, and spent much of his time in solitude. I think these three things are significant, but I do not yet know how. This post is already very long, but I intend to continue it tomorrow. As a last note, there are four more things that I think are significant in gaining insight into who Moses became in the desert. These are the questions (paraphrased below) he asks of God at the burning bush when he is commissioned to go back into Egypt, and can be found in Exodus 3-4.
1. Who am I that I should do this?
2. Who are You?
3. What if they do not believe me?
4. Please send someone else! I am inadequate.
Bis Morgen! Until tomorrow!
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