Did quite a lot of thinking and praying last night about this Moses situation. I found some very interesting information concerning Moses' story and attitudes before his exile in an very unlikely place: several thousand years later in Stephen's words to the Sanhedrin before his stoning. In Acts 7, he reminds them of Jewish history and informs us that:
"At that time Moses was born, and he was no ordinary child." (verse 20)
"Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and action." (verse 22)
"He saw one of them being mistreated by an Egyptian, so he went to his defense and avenged him by killing the Egyptian. Moses thought that his own people would realize that God was using him to rescue them, but they did not." (verses 24-25)
So how did this outstanding, educated, well-spoken, quick-acting man with a knowledge that he was called to rescue his people become the Moses we meet at the burning bush? Those 40 years in the desert had transformed him into a humble, self-conscious, stammering, hard-working man whose values were still in place but who over-thought every decision carefully before making it. There are many facets to explore here, but I hope to get through some of them today. As I mentioned yesterday, the "proto-Moses" became three things in his transition from prince to pastor (used here only with its literal meaning of "shepherd"). He became a family man, a shepherd, and a man of solitude. Naturally, his family prepared him for leadership by teaching him what true Godly manhood is about - that is, not impulsively and rashly acting whenever one is stirred by emotion as he had done when he killed the Egyptian slaver, but rather constantly sacrificing one's self for the good of one's family and assuming full responsibility for their actions. Biblical headship is always about servanthood rather than authority, and Moses must have learned this well. As a shepherd, he learned to work hard and rely upon God's provision as he cared for his flock.
But lastly, and most importantly, I believe that Moses' solitude had the biggest impact on shaping his spirit for the upcoming years. He would of course have had much time to consider his actions back in Egypt, and I can only assume he came to deeply regret his murder and lose much of his previous sense of self-confidence and worth. I imagine that he had all but given up on the dream he once had of setting his people free, thinking that he had blown it by trying to force a solution rather than waiting for God's timing. He was confronted with his own imperfection, and made a great transition that all of us must make. This quote by A.W. Tozer has deeply challenged me, and I believe if Moses had read it one day while sitting on a rock for lunch, sheep grazing all around him, he would have nodded his head in solemn agreement:
Because man is born a rebel, he is unaware that he is one. His constant assertion of self, as far as he thinks of it at all, appears to him a perfectly normal thing. He is willing to share himself, sometimes even to sacrifice himself for a desired end, but never to dethrone himself. Sin has many manifestations, but its essence is one. A moral being, created to worship before the throne of God, sits on the throne of his own selfhood and from that elevated position declares, "I AM." That is sin in its concentrated essence; yet because it is natural it appears to be good. (The Knowledge of the Holy)Moses was being dethroned. This, I think, is the most important thing for any believer and the only true way to become the bride of Christ. We must recognize that we are truly nothing without Him, but also that without us He would still be everything that He already is. In other words, He does not need us. He only desires us, but that is a great difference. Admitting that my life has no meaning or significance apart from Him is something that I am attempting to wrap my head around. But I can already see the traces of a Moses-esque transition within me. I am no longer the young and eager Christian jumping at the bit to do something extreme for Christ. Though my intentions were good, good intentions are often one of those idolatrous "something elses" that I mentioned in the last post. Instead, I find myself to be a much more hesitant Christ follower now. What is really God's will? This may be cool, but is it really His plan? Those are the kinds of questions I find myself asking more often. This transition is definitely not a complete one, and there is still so much that is partially or even totally unchanged. But it is a process.
There is so much to be gained from this story of Moses. I have just barely scratched the surface, and haven't even come close to getting to his 4 questions at the burning bush. Lucky for me that I have to end for today, since this is all very new to me and I am just beginning to explore it myself.
May this quote by a famous German theologian be true for all of us:
"Die Bibel ist das Buch, dessen Inhalt selbst von seinem göttlichen Ursprung zeugt. Die Bibel ist mein edelster Schatz, ohne den ich elend wäre."
"The Bible is the book of which the content itself is evidence of its divine origin. The Bible is my most precious treasure, without which I would be miserable."
-Immanuel Kant
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